Things You (Probably) Didn’t Know About Me

Here are a few things about me you probably didn’t know …

I was ‘educated’ by Jesuit Priests at an all boys college in Leeds

As a result, I was terrified of girls … until I discovered their secrets! (As an aside, I also went to Further Education College to study Pure Maths, Applied Maths & Physics. Guess what, after all that ‘education’ I dont have one achedemic qualification to my name. Everyone expected I would do well, and on the back of that expectation & a 2 minute interview I was accepted into FE college before the ‘nil points’ result came through – by which time my world was growing exponentially)

I never let schooling interfere with my education - Mark Twain
The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education - Albert Einstein

I speak enough Farsi (Persian) to get into & out of trouble if I’m ever in Iran    که به احتمال زیاد نمی
I hold a Gaming License

I worked as a Croupier, Gaming Inspector, Pitt Boss & Cashier in Casinos for 9 years. Very strange business. No commodity traded, nothing is bought or sold, just the transfer of money back & forth. Makes for some strange attitudes & paradigms at both sides of the tables.

What that life taught me …

A mans worth cannot be judged by his pocketbook. Having a few quid in your pocket won’t stop you being an ass. Excess money, like excess alcohol doesnt change a person, it reveals them

I was a guest columnist on the Daily Mirror’s ‘Biz Bureau’ (as was S’Rallan Lord Sugar)

What that taught me …

Entrepreneurs struggle to get good advice. I often despair at the advice ‘experts’ give small businesses. If someone is on the wrong track they don’t want speeding up, they need turning around! More tuff love needed out there.

When someone invests themselves in a pet project for 6 months before it falls on it’s ass, they moan about the time & money they’ve lost. Truth is, if time were so valuable, we wouldn’t waste so much of it now would we … and let’s face it, we can always find a few quid to poke an interesting idea with a stick. No, the price they really pay is in lost enthusiasm & momentum. Fail forward fast.

I was a competitive bodybuilder in the 80’s

… even won a few trophies don’t you know. My most treasured … Mr Leeds, Best Poser, 1988! LOL.

What that life taught me …

Although bodybuilders furnish many of the totems of health (abs, low bodyfat, tan etc) they are in fact more akin to daredevils than health nuts. Bodybuilding has nothing to do with health. Small men can come in big bodies, and vice versa People are VERY susceptible & responsive to to celebrity endorsement. I met Arnold Schwarzenegger in 1981. He said … “It’s more want power than willpower”. Fat is not your enemy – sugar is. Abs are built at the dinnertable. Low bodyfat is 80% diet 10% cardio 10% belief & persistance. Many very smart people leave their brains at the gym door

I’ve been a luvvie

I’ve done a bit of acting. Thats me in the BBC political drama ‘Underbelly’.

What that taught me …

Many many performers, but especially actors, live in fear of being ‘found out’. It’s called the Impostor Syndrome – and VERY few ever settle in to a genuine belief in their own talent. Even household names secretly await that phone call or knock on the dressing room door to hear someone say – “We’ve rumbled you. You’ve gotten lucky so far, but it’s over”

Many professional actors aren’t very good at being themselves. Writers & editors are the ‘photoshoppers’ of the acting world. Add world class lighting & makeup & you can even cast Orlando Bloom as an action hero, and he doesn’t weigh more than a buck-05 wet through

I was a Clothes Horse Model

Yes, I did a bit of modelling back in the day

What that taught me …

A mans status in the pack can increase with age. A Womans is time stamped. Even less secure than actors, models know they are bringing nothing to the table they haven’t been gifted.

Beautiful Women know deep down that looks alone are not enough to keep an alpha male’s attention (How many female models can you name who are shacked up with male models?)

There is a huge difference between being good looking & being attractive

I was a Nightclub Manager

At Madisons / Sunset & Vine, Leeds. I must have been the ‘Assistant’ manager because my wage packet said ‘Ass Man’

What that life taught me …

At the end of the night, the Womens toilets are waaaaay worse than the mens. We once found a plastic bag with … Oh never mind

… and 15 years later a Bouncer

What that life taught me …

Alcohol is the worst drug by far. Being a Doorman polarizes both men & women. Men either want to pal you or punch you, women are either all over you or totally ignore you. Much like in the military, men watching each others back can lead to lifetime friendships. The last resort strike of the professional is often pre-emptive

Many years a Saleman & Sales Trainer

What that life taught me…

Ha. Where do I start. Selling is the highest paying hard work, & the lowest paying easy work in the world.

Systems beat talent all day long

I’m a Brain Tumor Survivor

What that adventure taught me:

We humans do tend to whistle past the graveyard of reality – entertaining some eternal life fantasy, all the while knowing for sure the death rate is 100%

I know deep down that if the whole ‘Brain Tumour Experience’ did NOT result in any new decisions about my life, I would have gone through it all for nothing – effectively squandering the second chance life handed me

I’m an old Raver

I love trance, especially from the 90’s

What that life gave me …

The best nights of my life … by far

From the original Glasshouse in Leeds to the Joy Old Skool reunions to DC10 on Ibiza. Hundreds, or even thousands of strangers all luvved-up, as one, zero conflict, all swept up, rushing, weeping with positive emotion, the true altered state. Changed my life for the better, forever.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

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11 thoughts on “Things You (Probably) Didn’t Know About Me

  1. “At the end of the night, the Womens toilets are waaaaay worse than the mens. We once found a plastic bag with what looked like … Oh never mind”

    Come on Dave, tell us… 🙂

  2. “Mark, you have written “The enchanting aroma of dartboards burning near a toothpick farm” ”

    LOL! But it looks so purrty. Like something out of Aladdin. 🙂

    This is a very nice blog, I’m impressed. Have you thought of calling it “Shilly’s Blog”, Shilly’s Musings”, Shilly Cuts Through The BS”? Shilly Kicks Butt”. You have a unique name Dave m’boy, why not use it? Think of ShoeMoney’s blog – far more catchy than his name Jeremy dontcha think? Or you could keep the David Shillito for the main pages and just get catchy on the blog side.

    Ignore me I iz just musing. Loving this blog and it’s potential.

    If you wanna be really controversial you could add (to the footer) “if you are a lazy arse or a retard save your money and don’t buy. Tire kickers can bite me”. No? Oh well, just a thought.

    I’ll get me coat……..